My Piano Exams.... fingers crossed

Today the 17th of October, has been a long awaited day with some excitement and some foreboding. For the past few days I've been literally hanging on the threads of sanity by trying to stay cool.... you'll ask why. Well, it's my piano exams. You'll say "no big deal". Ok, how does this sound: I'm answering it after more than four years since my last piano exam (which by the way went terribly bad), and to top it all, my maestro tells me that this grade I'm going to answer (grade 6) is taken very seriously by the Music Board (Associated Board of Royals Schools of Music, London). Still no big deal?

So here's the shorter version of how I practically ate, slept and drank music for a week before today! Almost every other day I'd be running to rehearsals with my maestro: leave office early, take the train, a few auto rides and I'm there (takes a whole hour by the way). Sometimes we'd rehearse at the music school and other times at his residence or studio. Basically all I was thinking in those days was rhythm, melody and dynamics.... music mumbo jumbo! Practice for a few hours then retur home. At home the story would repeat. I have an M-Audio digital piano on which I practice,... it's not the same as the conventional piano, but it serves the purpose. Practices ran into late nights. Sometimes past midnight.

And finally the day arrives! I took special permission from office to be absent in the morning so that I can attend the exam. After a harrowing journey throught he morning rush hour, I make it to the music school in time. Sitting there in the waiting room with other students, the tension was palpable. Some were counting their fingers (like they wanted to make sure they had all ten! Sheesh!! - I think that was me :) ), others discussing harmonics and styles with teachers. Each time the faint music coming from the music room stopped, the talking would stop and we'd wait for the "warrior" to emerge successfully from the "arena". The look on his/her face meant everything to us: some would be excited, some crest-fallen, and so on... and that went on to build the mood in the waiting lounge.

My turn. The examiner, a soft-spoken fiftyish Englishman greets me so cordially, that I want to say "how 'bout we forget this exam and just give marks!" but I hold myself together. Behind that benign and fatherly look was a critical pianist waiting to spot the mistakes and slips in the melody I play! An acclaimed organist himself, I hardly have any scope to falter.

Nonetheless, my nerves start kicking in and my brains are all over the place! One by one he names the requirements and I play them. At first, it seemed I was doing pretty well in a section I dreaded the most - scales & arpeggios. (These are musical exercises that form the basis of western classical music. Much like ragas in Indian music.) But no sooner the sinful thought of confidence creeped into my mind I make a huge blunder. Well, let's just say it all started there. From there on I went on to graduate and do a Ph.D in melodic blunders! Some achievement huh!

As soon as that's over, it's time for the examiner to play something and ask me a few questions - this part is to guage your listening skills. Well, I come back with a vengeance. But he was playing too well! :( I can't even smirk at any mistake of his.... he's the examiner!! Thankfully, that went pretty smoothly and I managed to keep it together. After a few more tests, we're done and he thanks me profusely and affectedly that I am forced to return all the "Thank you's" with "my pleasure" and "Thank you too" and what not - which, by the way, I was in no mood for. :x

I walk out of the "arena" with my face hung low....very very low. Will I pass this one? I think I will. But that's not the point, is it?